The Audition

Here I am sitting and waiting for my flight back home at the Ataturk airport in Istanbul. I've been in Turkey for the past week for an audition with the Izmir State Opera. It sure has been a funny ride...

When I've left London we've had a delay because of bad weather conditions in Turkey which let me to believe that my life was coming to an end whilst going through the worst turbulence that I've ever experienced before touch down in Izmir. My friend Nejla Baskin's husband and daughter picked me up from the airport to host me during my stay. They are ever so loving and caring. They made me feel right at home with their warmth and hospitality, this is a very typical but a wonderful Turkish characteristic. Even though all was wonderful one feels exposed and fragile when abroad and about to do an important audition. My anxiety levels were in high alert and I've had little sleep and little food before my audition. However, the audition went quite well. I've sang to the director, conductor and the manager of the opera house. They were all really lovely folk with a keen interest in my voice. After our chat about what could be done, I've immediately started feeling good. No more anxiety, no more stress, and no more anorexia! Yuppie... Thinking back over this state that I was in, my mind goes blank almost telling my soul to be strong because their really isn't a solution for the mind to calm during these kinds of situations. Although, I would really like to just punch a button to make it all vanish!


My visit to Izmir was very exciting, packed with good and positive things. After my visit I took off to Istanbul to let go and enjoy the city a bit, and I sure did. What a spellbinding city! Last night I've had some traditional malt drink to die for called Boza and watched a new Turkish movie called Zenne Dancer, based on a true story about a gay guy who was murdered by his own family for being gay. Great movie that has been sweeping awards internationally and rightly so. Today I've visited Ortakoy, very hip part of town to have a wonderful Sunday brunch. With the sun shining and great scenery I was in great sprits until now. I have been waiting for my flight to take off for the past seven hours! Still don't know when or if it will. The travel for this trip has been one of the worst experiences ever, but again it is great to get some wisdom from other singer friends such Ann Hallenberg who must be the most frequent traveling singer that I know! She told me to be patient and I shall listen to the guru! Bye for now...

Intimacy

Yet again the winter is just around the corner and after a beautiful warm summer on the Greek islands I’m back in London to embrace the cold days and nights. I’m also here to embrace change and vocal maturity. Since the beginning of September I’ve been fortunate enough to have Talent Unlimited support my studies with Andrew Watts. We are working on getting a repertoire ready to record in mid October. It consists of some French, German and English songs alongside beautiful arias from the baroque repertoire.

Getting more and more involved with learning about what I can do with my voice is a fascinating process and Andrew is a great mentor in my journey in doing so. But what puzzles me the most is when he talks about vocal maturity. What does it mean? What does it consist of? I feel mature, shouldn’t that already reflect on my voice?

Discovering ones voice is an eye opening experience. It doesn’t end. You can never say I’ve discovered my voice and it will stay this way for the rest of my life as it changes all the time. Change is a wonderful but also a terrifying process. When change comes into the picture one needs to think about letting go and embracing something new. The best way to do this is not to listen to oneself. Something that every singer has a bad habit of and works years to get rid of!

Singing is not a fact, it’s a feeling, a feeling that you have in that moment in time. So when you dwell on how well you’ve sung in the past; all you’re dwelling on is that feeling you’ve had in that moment in time. This is against my personal beliefs but I still tend to do it periodically. The actual feeling that I’ve had in the past cannot be recreated, it cannot be relived. One doesn’t have that any more so the only thing that is important is what is happening now!

With that I would like to share a quote that I’ve enjoyed reading recently...

‘We often have the feeling, about one thing or another in our lives: If only this weren’t here I would be happy. If only I weren’t afraid, or angry or lonely. If only I didn’t have to do the dishes, or take out the trash, or do my income tax. If only I weren’t old, if I weren’t sick, if I didn’t have to die. But those things are here. This is the situation as it is. And none of it keeps you from practicing. None of it really keeps you from being happy. It is what you do with it that makes a difference.
And the thing to do is always the same: Give yourself to it completely. Be intimate.’ Larry Rosenberg

Purcell Room

‘From the perilous billows I was brought safely to shore by my propitious destiny’ was the translation of the first opening recitativo accompagnato of the second vocal piece from the Castrati: Forgotten Voices concert last Monday night at the Purcell Room. Here is a brief description of what had taken place with organizing this concert. Firstly we were going to do a programme of Vivaldi cantata’s with Massimo Mazzeo and Divino Sospiro, than this changed because of programming and Stefano Molardi and I Virtuosi Delle Muse took over to do the updated programme until they received a very important call from New York for the future of VDM so I was left running to the ramparts of a castle to jump off like Tosca until I had a call back from Steven Devine to take over and direct the whole show! I know it sounds pretty dramatic but it is pretty nerve racking when you are two weeks away from the big night and there is no conductor in sight.

What triumph it was to have Steven and Broschi Ensemble to take over and deliver. We had a great rehearsal a few days before and a very long rehearsal on the day of the concert. I’m not really a fan of singing too much on the day of a concert but lately it has been happening at almost all of my concerts and I think I have gotten used to it.

We kicked off with some great music and the night followed with even more amazing music written for Farinelli and his contemporaries. Had such fun singing the words and trying to get the meaning across to the audience. I will no longer bore you all with my opinion on this concert and let you read what Evan Dickerson wrote on his review of Castrati: Forgotten Voices. Before I go I will also like to note how handsome the audience was on the night! Some said it was the best looking audience that they have seen for a long time over at Southbank!

VIRTUOSI…

As one works with different groups, leaders, or conductors, one realizes how exciting and different each of these artists approach music. This is really an interesting realization for a performer. As a singer I try to bring what I think is artistically appropriate on the table but come with an open thought process to absorb any ideas that the conductor would have. Ideally you go into a rehearsal as a play-doh and the conductor shapes you into what he or she thinks it’s best for what the composer asks for. Which is in all fairness what we should all strive for.

Another thought that I’ve recently had after performing arias written for virtuosi singers such as Farinelli was why do we usually use the term ‘virtuoso’ or ‘virtuosi’ for mainly baroque repertoire? Is it because there are too many notes in one page? No, it certainly isn’t just too many notes! It’s because you have to jump octaves and sometimes 10ths, sing a 15-minute aria with countless runs, and the list goes on. But this is only one aspect of earning the word virtuoso. There is of course the beauty of the voice, the character realization and portrayal, but mainly how does one bring these arias to relevant term and make it enjoyable for the audience? A question that I hope of filling but wouldn’t be able to answer as it lies in the mouth of the audience.

Last Thursday I took a train to Tudeley and got picked up from the train station to be taken to my rehearsal with I Virtuosi Delle Muse. Group of intelligent musicians from France and Italy, who are led by magnificent concertino Jonathan Guyonnet and the ever so exciting conductor Stefano Molardi. Such a joy to see passionate artists! We’ve immediately connected and got to work on music written for Farinelli, and Caffarelli. After the rehearsal I was seriously exhausted, as these pieces require lot of breath work. This was another reason why I had been spending lots of time at the gym doing cardio to get the lung capacity in a good place for these difficult arias. We had a fantastic concert that night at the Tudeley Music Festival and on the next day we did another run of it at the London Handel Festival with great success.

Now another night of it awaits me at the Purcell Room of Southbank Centre. This time around I will be working with my group Broschi Ensemble and another virtuoso Steven Devine. We will for sure bring something different to these pieces compared to what we have already achieved with VDM. But this is the fun part of it! It’s never the same; it’s always different to be performing the same repertoire with different artists. Is this what being a virtuoso is about? Questions, questions, and more questions!

Age of Enlightenment

Another year has passed! My point of writing this entry is because I question myself of why wanting to go through every single thing in detail that had taken place throughout this past year and what will or might take place in my new age.

It really has been a huge learning curve for me with changing teachers, which always boil down to changing your technique. This is a huge step that one has to make, a big decision! Having had doubts at the beginning of this transition I’m now coming to a point with my vocal abilities where I think that I’ve made the right move and a much-needed one.

Looking back to this past year I have signed with Maloberti Music Management and have taken stage on the 2010 London Handel Festival and Musica da Dias with Divino Sospiro. Fun experiences even though when you know that you are just at the beginning of working with this new instrument!

In the new age I’m embarking on a great and a difficult journey of singing extremely difficult repertoire and working with some great artists. I finally feel ready to get these hard pieces out in the open. One has to think carefully when touching repertoire that was written for such great artists as Farinelli or Cafarelli. Having said that it brings my discussion to three great highlights for this year’s performances. I will join I Virtuosi Delle Muse and it’s wonderfully talented leader Jonathan Guyonnet and conductor Stefano Molardi in Italian Afetti. Performances take place in Tudeley Music Festival and 2011 London Handel Festival. They then join my group Broschi Ensemble in our Southbank debut of Castrati: Forgotten Voices, repertoire that looks at music that was written for Farinelli, Cafarelli, Senesino and many others.

With these great concerts I’m also going for the Handel Singing Competition. Competitions are always tricky, some people are just born to do it and others find it a judgment call! Your practically in the hands of few individuals that might not score you well just because they are not interested in your vocal production. Keeping this in mind and knowing what kind of voices that Handel Singing Competition usually puts through, I keep my fingers crossed that they will have opened their thoughts out for voices like mine. As the countertenor voice grows we start seeing how different each singer is and what it brings to the table. It’s actually a revelation when you hear people who encourage you to sing high or low and not pigeon hole your voice because you’re a countertenor.

I have this feeling, a sense that this new age will be the age of enlightenment or the age of reason for me. It’s like pouring water to an ocean. I feel it’s time to let go and delve into music and knowledge. Be educated; soak every good thing in like a sponge. It’s time to change the gear and go!

DIVINE SIGH

Triumph! Yes, I know that I have used this word for my first blog and it goes so perfectly with the backing story but I have come to a decision that this title would have probably gone much better with my second blog about my trip to Lisbon. What an amazing time singing with the best of the best in baroque music. It makes the whole world of difference! It feels as though you are the steering wheel of a top of the range Jaguar! This is how I would describe Divino Sospiro and its wonderfully talented conductor Massimo Mazzeo or should I say Maestro Mazzeo!?

I left my house on the crack of dawn to the airport and got to Lisbon at noon. Even though I was uber tired I couldn’t take a siesta nap. Massimo and his wonderful concertino Iskerena came to greet me at my hotel than we dashed off to a 3 hour rehearsal at the Orquestra Metropolitana de Lisboa. Even though I was pretty shattered, we had a wonderful rehearsal as the energy between Massimo, the group and I bonded so well. All the musicians in the group were all fantastic at what they do and that’s why they play for such wonderful baroque groups such as Il Giardino Armonico and etc.

When I got to my room I took a shower and crashed but then woke up energetic and was ready for our second rehearsal at CCB. I think we all could tell that we all were much rested and the rehearsal went smoothly which made us pretty much confident for our concert the next day. While I was singing my pieces, a sweet girl kept on smiling at me from the viola section and I kept on smiling back at her. I totally didn’t recognise her until she came up and reminded herself to me as we had met recently in London. Musician’s world is small after all and it’s also a great feeling when you do see someone that you already know. It makes you feel at home, for some strange reason!

Come Sunday I was well ready to enjoy this performance. Had a quick breakfast where I saw many other friends of mine from the London music scene at my hotel than rushed off for our rehearsal at the grand auditorium. Even though it was 1500 seat concert hall the sound was projecting well and it felt easy to sing. We kicked off with DS playing some wonderful Muffat than I entered with a Bononcini cantata titled ‘Care luci del mio bene’ where the audience gave a strong ovation at the end of it resulting on a few in and out’s with Massimo. Than Pietro Prosser a stunning lute player took stage with a Vivaldi piece, while I waited back stage to get in with a dramatic ‘Scherza infida’ from Handel’s Ariodante. After this piece people really started to get engaged and clapping grew stronger. Than when we performed ‘Sento in seno’ the audience went wild resulting in us performing an encore ‘Nel profondo, cieco mondo’ where we received standing ovations and bravissimo’s...

This concert was definitely the highlight of this year’s performances so far! Absolutely stunning group with an ultra talented maestro, what else could a singer want!? Really can’t wait for our next collaboration!

THE TRIUMPH!

OK! So the major concert with Broschi Ensemble is over. We performed Handel's Il Trionfo del Tempo e del Disinganno for the 2010 London Handel Festival to a packed house at Grosvenor Chapel. With great success and my slight tonsillitis. The venue was so packed that it was overwhelming to see our wonderful audience hanging out and watch us from the top floor of the chapel.

Pre concert - I can't begin to tell you how much work that went into the production. Choosing the right singers, players, music, promotion, and the list goes on. On top of it all I had to learn the ever so difficult role of Piacere which entails complicated triplet runs, covering a range of over two octaves, and difficult quartets and duets. We had an intense three day rehearsal schedule which was hard work but thanks to everyones efforts it all came together nicely.

Overall it was a fantastic concert with great singing and wonderful playing from Broschi Ensemble. There were some camera crews and bloggers at the concert, you can watch a short video, also a Portuguese blog / Turkish blog, and a review from Opera Britannia.

Between Handel Fest and today I also learnt Monteverdi Vespers for a concert that took place on the 24th of March. I have to admit, it was the funniest concert that I've ever taken a part in. Just can't explain why!

On another fun note, I think with Broschi things are going well and looking up. The word is out and we had over 10,000 hits on YouTube, which is joy!